Rethinking Polyvagal Theory, Part 1: Nuance, Neurodivergence, and Questioning the Western Model
A somatic practitioner's honest, nuanced take on the Polyvagal Theory discourse — including what the standard model misses for neurodivergent folks and why western scientific rigor isn't the whole picture.
If you've been following the recent discourse around Polyvagal Theory — the debates, the "debunking," the questions about scientific rigor — you might be feeling a little swirly. Maybe you're a practitioner who uses Polyvagal Theory in your work, or maybe you're a client who has benefited from it. Or maybe you want to join an SSP Group, but in light of the recent discourse, you're now spiraling and stumped and unsure.
This is Part 1 of an ongoing conversation I'm having about this publicly, because I think it deserves more than one post. I want to share a bit of how I hold Polyvagal Theory in my work, and some of my evolving thoughts about it. Part 2 is yet to come.
My Relationship with Polyvagal Theory
If you have worked with me in any capacity, we have probably talked about Polyvagal Theory. We've talked about freeze, maybe mapped your nervous system, and looked at diagrams of the Polyvagal Ladder. I've offered ways to soothe your vagus nerve.
But people who work with me — especially those doing the SSP — know that I don't offer these things as the final word on nervous system healing. I hold my teachers and these models with deep respect and critique that sometimes comes with a raised eyebrow. This includes Polyvagal Theory and Stephen Porges. Sorry, Steve.
I don't think any model I practice is complete on its own. And I think every model and modality changes shape based on how it's being offered — and whose hands are offering it.
Bending the Model to Fit Real People
In practice, this means I offer Polyvagal Theory as a model and then invite folks to bend it and change the language into what actually works for them.
One example: Polyvagal Theory describes the Ventral Vagal state — the state we're in when we don't feel under threat — as "safe and social." But I work with a lot of neurodivergent folks, and they often don't feel safe when they feel social. Or maybe they feel safe and connected, but that connection is with animals, a special interest, or nature rather than people.
You're probably getting the picture. I bring a lot of nuance to the Polyvagal model. I try to bring a lot of nuance to everything.
Questioning the Western Model of Healing
I'm also highly skeptical of the western model of certifications and scientific rigor — especially when so many of these healing practices have Indigenous roots. I'm not anti-science. But I do think that's only one part of the picture, and it's worth naming.
Who gets to decide what is valid? Who gets to decide what is true? Where are we looking for confirmation that a theory is true?
These are a few of the questions that I hold as I attempt to offer decolonized healing. Which, yes, is messy because what I practice has been colonized. It's a growing edge and work in progress for me.
Does the SSP Still Work?
This is the question I imagine many of you are sitting with. I have worked with over 100 people doing the SSP. Almost every single person has had a transformational experience. Sure, a couple of people have dropped out — I can count them on one hand with fingers to spare — and not everyone has a loud or dramatic experience. But I wouldn't still be doing this work if it didn't positively impact the people I work with.
Part of that is absolutely the SSP playlist itself, which Steven Porges designed to send auditory cues of safety to your nervous system. And part of it has to do with how I offer the SSP.
What to Look for in a Practitioner
You don't have to work with me, but here's what I'd recommend regardless of who you choose:
Find someone whose worldview goes beyond the model. Polyvagal Theory, like other models, can flatten the bigger picture and leave out the social, structural, and relational realities that make nervous system healing genuinely hard. An adept practitioner holds the model and the complexity of your actual life.
Find someone who is intentional about pacing. With the SSP specifically, offering too much safety too fast can feel confronting or even re-traumatizing to the nervous system — the opposite of what we're going for.
Find someone with a relational approach. Trauma happens within relationship, and healing does too. No matter the model.
Still on the Fence?
If you've been on the fence about joining an SSP Group — especially in light of what's coming out about Polyvagal Theory — I'd love to chat with you about it. And maybe you'll decide that you want to join an SSP Group anyways. We hold these kinds of conversations in the group too, so you won't be alone in the nuance or the skepticism.
My last two Spring SSP Groups are now enrolling, and then we're taking a break over the summer. If you don't want to wait until Fall to start your nervous system healing journey, here's what's available:
🎶 Wednesday evenings | Starting March 4th | 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 4 spaces open
🎶 Monday evenings | Starting April 6th | 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 5 spaces open
Before you join, I offer a free connection call — it's my practice to do this so your nervous system can hang out with mine for a little bit, I can answer your questions, and we can both feel into whether it's a good fit.
Apply here and we'll set up your free connection call. 🦋
This is Part 1 of an ongoing series. In Part 2, I'll go deeper into what a genuinely neurodivergent-affirming Polyvagal framework can actually look like.
Jess Jackson is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner, and Safe and Sound Protocol Provider at Soft Path Healing — trauma-informed care for the world we really live in.
Is an SSP Group Right for You? You Might Recognize Yourself in This.
Wondering if an SSP Group is right for you? Here are the themes I hear most often from people who find their way to this work — you might recognize yourself in this.
Over the years I've read a lot of SSP applications and had a lot of connection calls. And I've noticed that while everyone's story is unique, the themes that bring people to an SSP Group are surprisingly consistent.
People don't always have the words for what they're looking for when they first reach out. But underneath the different circumstances and histories, there's usually something recognizable. Something that sounds a lot like: I've been trying. And I'm still not quite there.
So I wanted to share the themes I hear most often — not to convince you of anything, but because you might recognize yourself in here. And if you do, that recognition is worth paying attention to. 💞
A note: what people share in applications and on connection calls stays confidential. What I'm sharing here are the patterns I've observed over time — the themes that come up again and again — not anyone's specific words.
"I've tried so many things. And I'm still stuck."
This is the most common thing I hear. People arrive at the SSP after years — sometimes decades — of doing the work. Therapy, medication, breathwork, meditation, coaching. Things that helped, but didn't quite get all the way there. The parts that feel stuck are still stuck. The body still holds what the mind has processed a hundred times over.
If this is you — the person who has done so much work and is still searching for the thing that will reach the parts other modalities can't — you're in good company here. This is one of the most common reasons people find me.
You're not broken. You're not beyond help. You might just need something that works from the bottom up instead of the top down. The SSP works directly with the nervous system, not through the thinking mind — and for a lot of people, that's the missing piece.
"My brain knows I'm safe. My nervous system didn't get the memo."
So many folks name this exact gap — the mismatch between what they know intellectually and what their body is actually doing. They've done the cognitive work. They understand their patterns. They can name their trauma responses with impressive precision. And yet their nervous system keeps responding the same way it always has.
This is exactly what the SSP is designed to address. You don't have to think your way through it. You don't have to open the box or talk about your trauma history. The SSP works through sound — through the auditory pathway directly connected to the vagus nerve — and your nervous system responds.
For people who have spent years trying to regulate top-down, this can feel like a revelation. You can read more about how the SSP actually works over at whatisthessp.com or in my post on The SSP, Safety-Seeking and Sensing Danger.
"I want something gentler."
People are tired of pushing. Tired of healing that asks them to go into the pain, stay there, work harder. What I hear over and over is a longing for something that feels safe enough to actually land — something where they don't have to brace themselves to show up.
The SSP is gentle. I'm gentle. That's not a marketing line — it's a genuine commitment to how I hold this work. We do 10 minutes of listening at a time. We don't force anything. We follow the pace of your nervous system, not a predetermined timeline. No forced sharing, ever.
If you've been hurt by healing spaces that pushed too hard or moved too fast, I want you to know that this one is built differently. You can read more about that in 5 Ways the SSP is Trauma-Informed.
"I'm so tired of healing alone."
The isolation of trauma is its own wound. And so many people arrive at SSP Groups not just seeking nervous system support — they're seeking company in their healing. The feeling of not being the only one. Of being in a room (even a virtual one) with other people who get it.
This is one of the reasons I believe in the group model so deeply. Not just because co-regulation is real and scientifically supported — though it is — but because being witnessed in your healing, by people who understand from the inside, is its own kind of medicine.
If you've always done your healing work alone, a group can feel like a big stretch. It can also feel like exactly what's been missing.
"I want to feel at home in my body."
Underneath all the different reasons — the anxiety, the disconnection, the stuck-ness — what most people are really reaching for is the same thing. Safety. Ease. The feeling of belonging to themselves.
They want to make more sense to themselves. They want to feel present — actually here, in their body, in their life. They want rest that actually feels like rest. They want to stop bracing.
That's what we're working toward in an SSP Group, week by week, 10 minutes of listening at a time. It's quiet work. Gentle work. And it can be surprisingly profound. 💞
Do you recognize yourself in any of this?
If something landed — if you felt a little seen, or a little relieved that someone else is naming what you've been carrying — that's worth paying attention to.
You don't have to have it all figured out before you apply. You don't have to know exactly what you need or be able to articulate it perfectly. That's what the connection call is for. We'll talk, and we'll figure it out together.
Wondering whether a group or individual experience is right for you? I wrote about that here → Should I Do the SSP in a Group or Individually?
Two groups are open right now — the only ones until Fall:
🎶 Wednesday Evening Group | Starting March 4th, 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 4 spaces open
🎶 Monday Evening Group | Starting April 6th, 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 6 spaces open
Still not sure if this is for you? Reach out — I'm here. 🦋
Jess Jackson (she/they) is a trauma-informed practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP), and SSP provider at Soft Path Healing, based in Midcoast Maine and working virtually with clients across the globe.
SSP Group vs. Individual: A Deeper Look
If you landed here from my other post — hi, welcome back. 💞
If this is your first stop: I also wrote a shorter, more list-y version of this question over here → Should I Do the SSP in a Group or Individually?
This one goes a little deeper. Because sometimes you need the quick version, and sometimes you want to really understand what you're choosing between before you decide. Both are valid. Both are very nervous-system-appropriate. 🦋
Not sure what the SSP even is yet? Start here → Common Misconceptions about the Safe & Sound Protocol or visit whatisthessp.com
What actually happens in an SSP Group?
An SSP Group is small and virtual — typically 4 to 6 folks — moving through the Safe & Sound Protocol together over 13 weeks. We meet weekly for sessions that are 2 hours and 15 minutes each.
Here's what a typical session looks like: we open together, do a somatic practice, check in, and then listen to the SSP playlist in three 10-minute rounds, with time to share and digest between each one. You access the playlist through an app on your phone, and you get to choose your own playlist, press pause whenever you need to, and move around your space while you listen. You're not required to stay synchronized with the group or sit still in front of your screen. Folks listen while folding laundry, bopping around their space, cozying up with pets, watering plants, making art. Whatever your nervous system needs in that moment.
What's woven through all of it is connection — with me, with the other group members, with your own nervous system. There's always space to share (and always space not to). No forced sharing, ever.
One participant described it as "a gentle space to land each week and spend intentional time tending to my nervous system." That feels right to me. It's a container — something steady to come back to, week after week, no matter what the rest of life is doing.
What actually happens in a 1:1 SSP experience?
A 1:1 experience is built entirely around you. We move at the pace of your nervous system, which means an individual journey takes 15 sessions or more — often longer. There's no timeline we're beholden to.
We can blend Somatic Experiencing with the SSP, slow the listening way down if we need to, add sessions when things feel big, and shape the container specifically around what your nervous system is asking for. You get my full attention in every session, and we can go wherever your process needs to go.
If you've done a lot of healing work and you know you need a very individualized, carefully held space — or if you're working with something particularly acute right now — 1:1 is often the right container.
The thing that's different about groups that I want you to know
I did my own SSP journey in a group. And I want to be honest with you about something: there was something that happened in that group container that I couldn't have gotten on my own, or even in 1:1 work.
When your nervous system is in a room — even a virtual room — with other nervous systems that are also orienting toward safety, something shifts. You're being witnessed. You're witnessing others. You're practicing being in relationship with safety while also being in relationship with other people. That's not incidental to the healing. For a lot of folks, that is the healing.
We learn our nervous system patterns in relationship. And a lot of us learn to heal in isolation. A group gently interrupts that pattern.
"Part of what I loved about the SSP was Jess's invitation to show up exactly as we were. Just before SSP began, I experienced some trauma in a group setting and felt hesitant about the group dynamic of this process. I was able to show up completely nonverbal and in tears the first day, and felt warmth and welcomed in this experience. As the weeks progressed, I was able to connect outward more to other members of the group as my nervous system allowed, and even initiated conversations and cracked some jokes! The SSP was healing on multiple levels for me, and this group dynamic was just one slice of the pie." — SSP Group Participant
Signs a group is probably right for you
You're craving connection and community around your healing, not just information or techniques. You have some support outside of our group — a therapist, a trusted person, someone to turn to if things feel big between sessions. You're nervous and excited, in roughly equal measure. Cost is a factor and the group model's accessibility matters to you. You do well with rhythm and structure — the predictability of a weekly container feels steadying rather than constraining.
And you want to practice being in relationship. Even gently. Even slowly. Even from the couch with your camera off sometimes.
If you want to read more about how the SSP is trauma-informed and what that actually looks like in practice, that's over here.
Signs a 1:1 experience is probably right for you (right now)
You know from experience that shared spaces tend to activate you more than support you. You need to move much more slowly through the listening than a group container allows. You're navigating something particularly acute and you need more individualized attention and care. The idea of being witnessed by others — even gently, even in a trauma-informed space — feels like too much of an ask for your nervous system at this moment.
This isn't a permanent answer. It might just be where you are right now. And a 1:1 experience can be its own beautiful, transformative journey.
You can learn more about the individual experience at softpathhealing.com/ssp-individual.
How to actually hear your own answer
Here's what I notice on connection calls: most people already have a lean when they come in. They've read the words, they've felt something — a shy excitement about joining a group or a knowing that 1:1 feels more easeful.
Trust that.
And if you genuinely can't tell, that's okay too. That's exactly what connection calls are for. After you apply, we get on a short Zoom and just talk. I'll share more about how I hold groups and what 1:1 looks like, you can ask anything, and we'll figure out together what feels right. I'll tell you honestly what I think — including if I think you need something I can't offer.
No pressure. Just a conversation between two nervous systems trying to figure out what's next. 💞
Ready to take the next step?
Two groups are open right now — the only ones until Fall:
🎶 Wednesday Evening Group | Starting March 4th, 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 4 spaces open
🎶 Monday Evening Group | Starting April 6th, 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 6 spaces open
Still not sure? Reach out. I'm here to help you figure out what feels right for your nervous system. 🦋
Jess Jackson (she/they) is a trauma-informed practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP), and SSP provider at Soft Path Healing, based in Midcoast Maine and working virtually with clients across the globe.
Common Misconceptions about the Safe & Sound Protocol (SSP)
The Safe & Sound Protocol is a big piece of my work in the world, and today I was reflecting on the ideas folks have about the SSP before they begin, and what might be more true of their experience.
Read on and I will share a few of the misconceptions as well as my experience as a facilitator, and some reflections from folks I lead through this sound and nervous system healing journey.
😌✖️ You need to be passive, still and settled (like meditation) for the SSP to work.
👟🎨 You don’t need to be still or meditative to listen. You get to move your body, snack, puzzle or make art, stretch, etc. A big focus of the SSP is about being in our present moment experience and following the cues from our body and nervous system. Sometimes people think they need to be still/surrendered/lying down/calm to listen. But you don't! What do my clients do while they listen? Here's a short list of what people feel inspired to do:
Hang out with plants, nature, or animal friends
Organize, tidy or clean (I always joke they can come over to my place next)
Make art (we've had stitching, painting, crocheting, knitting, doodling, drawing and more)
Swing in a yoga swing
Cozy up on the couch or chair
Snack (one of my fave SSP activities - my body got hungry!)
Let activated energy move through walking, pacing, shaking and somatic practices
Turn to puzzles, fidgets, or other soothing activities
💎✖️ The music is similar to frequency healing or sound baths.
🎷🎼 The music has a special filtration and comes in different playlists and genres, but it often doesn't sound "different" to folks, even though the filtration sets it apart from what you might hear on the radio. It kind of sounds like what you'd hear on the radio, or in a yoga studio.
You can choose from cover songs, kids songs, classical, healing vibes or funky ambient tunes. There are instrumental and vocal playlists. Songs you will know, and songs composed especially for the SSP (this is helpful when we have negative associations with certain songs). You will get to choose what playlist to listen to, you can see the playlists before we begin, and I will help you find the right fit!
😰✖️ The experience will be really intense or overwhelming.
🌸🌖 I often say the SSP is “gently turbulent”. Yes, there are rocky moments, but it’s often the easiest healing modality folks have tried and they’re surprised that a lot changed without overwhelm. You don't need to dig into your trauma experience, although your shares and stories are welcome.
Folks often find me and the SSP after trying modalities that were too intense. The SSP is effective and impactful, but it really is gentle. It’s my job to help you have a gentle enough experience, and it's also my job to offer support when things feel too hard. Plus, many of my clients also see a therapist and having another space to process and receive support is highly recommended.
"Jess did a wonderful job facilitating our group and creating a space where everyone was encouraged to show up as they were. I enjoyed the SSP process and found it helped me relax, find more ease in my day, and rebound faster from stress. I highly recommend it and would do it again." - SSP Participant
1️⃣✖️ Listening on your own is just as effective as with a facilitator.
💞🎧 I know I’m biased, but listening within a group or 1-1 container means you have access to support, co-regulation and tools that might not exist on your own.
I did my SSP journey in a group and it added so much to my experience. On my own, I might have "gone through the motions" or listened really quickly. I might have missed out on being mirrored, hearing my shares reflected back to me, and learning somatic practices. I also might not have finished the SSP or gotten as much out of it. Left to my own devices, I can be very "girl dinner"/whatever. But something about being in a group, even though it's not your job to take care of the group, can help us show up for ourselves, too!
When you experience the SSP virtually, you get to be in your own space, with your own tools and creature comforts! You have the support and co-regulation of me as the facilitator, and your group mates if you choose to join a group. But you also have so much freedom to be out of camera view when being perceived is a lot and to explore your space while listening.
In my SSP group when I was a client, sometimes I wandered around my apartment; sometimes I was right in front of my computer; sometimes I rolled my chair out of camera view; sometimes I curled up on the couch.
“Part of what I loved about the SSP was Jess’s invitation to show up exactly as we were. Just before SSP began, I experienced some trauma in a group setting and felt hesitant about the group dynamic of this process. I was able to show up completely nonverbal and in tears the first day, and felt warmth and welcomed in this experience." - SSP Participant
If you have been feeling drawn to an SSP group or 1-1 experience, you can apply right here and book a connection call to feel out if a 1-1 or group experience would be best for you.
Not ready to apply yet? Click here to read all about how I offer the Safe & Sound Protocol.
5 Ways the SSP is Trauma-Informed
When you do the SSP with me, it’s trauma-informed. And that goes beyond a buzzword into tangible actions and practices. So if you’re wondering how LAND is trauma-informed, that’s so valid, and I want you to know these things before you begin. You deserve the kind of trauma-informed care that meets your needs and honors your nervous system and lived experience. Read on to find out a bit more about my approach.
When you do the SSP with me, it’s trauma-informed. And that goes beyond a buzzword into tangible actions and practices. So if you’re wondering how LAND is trauma-informed, that’s so valid, and I want you to know these things before you begin. You deserve the kind of trauma-informed care that meets your needs and honors your nervous system and lived experience. Read on to find out a bit more about my approach.
Listening moves at the pace of your nervous system
We listen 10 minutes at a time, followed by processing & support. This way, the listening isn’t overwhelming. It’s doable and digestible, and there is time built in for integration and self-care, as well as group connection. Also, you can always listen less. I will encourage you to honor your capacity. In LAND, your NO will be celebrated as much as your YES!
Relationships grow at the pace of your nervous system
I know joining a group, and a healing group especially, can be vulnerable and tender. In LAND, we can take our time. We have 12 weeks to get to know one another. I will be nurturing connections and comfort but not rushing or forcing them. Connections can grow on your unique timeline, and that’s okay (and even encouraged!) with me.
There is no forced sharing!
Part of the group magic is witnessing other folks and bringing your experience to be witnessed. In this light, sharing is always invited and even encouraged. But I'm also here to encourage you to honor your boundaries and needs. Sometimes you might share a little, sometimes a lot, sometimes there are no words or they're just for you. That's okay! Also, voice AND chat are open for shares. I strive to be very inclusive and adaptive when it comes to sharing, and this is a place to practice showing up and sharing the right amount for you (not how much or how little you think you should share to be accepted.)
There is space for you to have the experience you need
In the SSP, you’re invited to listen to music for 10 minutes at a time. You can do whatever you'd like, and whatever feels right to you, while you listen. So you have a lot of agency and ownership over your experience. A lot of folks listen while: resting, moving, art-making, doodling, snacking, etc. You can do whatever supports your nervous system! And if you’re not sure what supports your nervous system or experience, this group is a lovely way to find that out and cultivate new tools, rhythms and practices.
The SSP isn't kapow! It's more like gentle waves. We titrate and we integrate.
Sometimes your experience can be intense, and there is space for that. But I also hope to co-cultivate a space where what comes up feels doable, digestible and for the most part be-with-able. This is where lasting change can occur. So how do we ensure the SSP is as gentle as it can be? We meet for 12 weeks, we listen for ten minutes at a time, and there is space to resource, self-soothe, and weave the lessons we're learning into our lives. And there is time for reflecting, processing and digesting our experience. Most people feel like what comes up might be a lot, but also through the SSP their experience of “a lot” can change and when things come up that in the past would have been too much, now it’s less overwhelming.
There are so many ways to be trauma-informed. Important aspects for you (and for me - this is just one blog, after all) might be missing from this list. But I hope this helps you see some of the ways I aspire to hold our group so everyone feels welcomed to show up as they are and has space to feel, grow and transform.
The SSP, Safety-Seeking and Sensing Danger
There are so many ways our nervous system scans for safety and danger. Sound is one of them.
The SSP (Safe & Sound Protocol) uses sound to send the nervous system signals of safety, and as we receive this, big healing can happen.
When our nervous system and vagus nerve are bathed in the sounds of safety and connection, a lot can change. Our relationships, our nervous system, our way of being in the world.
There are so many ways our nervous system scans for safety and danger. Sound is one of them.
The SSP (Safe & Sound Protocol) uses sound to send the nervous system signals of safety, and as we receive this, big healing can happen.
When our nervous system and vagus nerve are bathed in the sounds of safety and connection, a lot can change. Our relationships, our nervous system, our way of being in the world.
And when we have an extended period of time through the SSP to experience and orient to these sounds of safety, and we are able to take slow sips of safety and connection, our survival patterns can shift. By working slowly and honoring nervous system capacity, these shifts take place without the overwhelm sometimes present in healing.
There is no shame in a nervous system that is more oriented to (and familiar with) danger or disconnection. Survival is the nervous system's goal, and it'll do whatever it takes to get there. Including staying glued to the look-out in case more danger awaits. This can often show up as hypervigilance and repeated scanning for safety or threat in the environment.
When we are offered sounds of safety in small amounts, we get practice being in relationship to safety. To okay-ness. To nothing-is-wrong-right-now-ness. And at first, it might feel strange. Boring. Unfamiliar. To scan and find that nothing-is-actually-wrong-right-now.
But over time, we might settle into it as a sense of safety settles into our nervous system.
And this is part of the magic of the SSP.
Head over to softpathhealing.com/ssp to learn more and fill out an application to work together. I’d love to help you and your nervous system experience more ease.