forgive yourself for not being there yet

Forgive yourself for not being there yet.

This is the message that asks to be spoken through me. It’s for you and it’s for me and it’s for all of us.

We are not there and yet we are getting there. It’s okay to be where we are. It’s okay if we can’t stand being where we are. If we’re so tired of having one limb on either side of a doorway, choicepoint, portal. Liminal spaces are challenging-keep going. Or rest. Rest is also moving us forward because moving inward moves us forward, even if it seems still to the point of cement-stuck in the moment.

There’s no finish line and if there is, we are spiraling and with each go-around crossing it. Perhaps without even knowing, which might be why the journey feels endless.

Take heart, my dears: no one is there yet. We are all forever arriving.

I AM NOT A HEALER

I️ AM NOT A HEALER.

I’m a spaceholder, facilitator, sometimes-guide and more-often follower, and deep deep listener.

But I️ AM NOT A HEALER. You are your own healer.

We don’t need anyone else to heal us (even though I get that it’s tempting) because how could they?! Other people are not you. Not in your body or life experiences. And everything you want to heal from is trying to show you something. Maybe in the most irritating or heartbreaking or life-disrupting way, but it’s trying to show you something. And that message is for YOU.

In my client work it’s so important to me that I’m not in this holier-than-thou I️-have-all-the-answers-just-pay-me-and-you-can-have-them-too place. It’s really not about me. I️ mean, I’m great, but I’m great in that your session is about YOU. Your body, your sensations, your story. Your pace. Your process.

I️ AM NOT A HEALER, I️ am a witness as you reach for healing. I️ am stepping back so you can do your sacred work. I️ am this lantern next to you as you stumble along your path, but it is YOUR path and guess what - you’re the fucking moon.

You are your own healer and you’re the fucking moon.

Take care, self-healers. You’re doing the damn thing. Don’t forget it.

are your hobbies joyful or triggering?

Are your hobbies joyful or triggering?

Here’s the thing. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Some things that I️ love to do (meditative/ecstatic dance, for example) send me to deep and dark&twisty places.

I️ spend a lot of time willingly exploring those places (somatic processing, bodywork, therapy, journaling) and it’s come to me lately that I️ need something I️ love that is just FUN.

If complex trauma has lived through you (and you it) you’re familiar with this very layered life. Rarely is anything simple, and everything touches something else.

At an ecstatic dance class a few weeks ago I️ felt safe, which made me cry. Ya know? It just goes that way sometimes.

So I’m not saying to avoid triggers all of the time, I’m just saying: do you have any hobbies that mostly bring you joy and mostly don’t dredge deep things up for you? I’m still looking for one. Let me know what brings you JOY. Let me know what brings you space to hold pain and process. I’m so curious.

There are many ways to take care. ❤️

you got yourself here

you got yourself here, you brought yourself here.

A friend said these words to me today and they hit me something powerful.

We have moved through so much. Sometimes we forget.

Today, I’m inviting you to remember. Where you are, where you’ve been, and how very far you’ve come.

As usual, you’re probably doing better than you think. Maybe even better than you feel.

Take care, ya sweeties.

xo jess

Anything can be comfortable, including discomfort

Question why you’re comfortable.

I’ve been learning a lot about my attachment style, and coming face-to-face with some patterns. Getting curious about my choices and if they’re made in present time or rooted in past conditioning and storylines. Wondering, in everything I do, about my “why”s.

Sometimes we hold onto something and it feels comfortable in our hands. Our body knows we’ve held it before. But that doesn’t mean we should keep cupping it. Maybe it fits because we’ve wrapped ourselves around it. Maybe now our hands are achy from the grasp and we’ve stopped, just a little bit, breathing. Maybe we’re used to that, too.

Familiar isn’t always in our highest good. Humans, ever adaptable, can adjust to anything. We adjust because we had to, we needed to. But do we still need to?

This is the question, and a hard one to answer. Living in present time is tricky when threads from the past are tugging at you. When you’re two places at once. If the threads are tangled.

Some gentle wonders as you begin to untangle:

Is what you’re carrying serving you, or are you accustomed to the weight of it?

Do you still need to pretzel yourself to survive, or can you begin to take your own shape?

If something feels like home, does it feel like the home you are wanting to call your own or does it echo of something darker?

Ask yourself: How do I️ know this is comfortable? And let your body answer.

Take care of yourself as you move forward and inward. Love to you all. 💛

healing is hard fucking work

Healing is hard fucking work. It just is, by nature of it. But also, we heal in the world and systems we live in (the systems that harmed us), and that can make it even more challenging. I️ don’t think there’s another way to do it, as our systems impact us so deeply. We’re FROM them. They SHAPE us. And they really need healing too.

So be soft with yourself as you reach for healing. Not just healing for yourself, but for everyone hurting in the world right now. It seems this list keeps growing (or perhaps that’s our awareness) - so let’s grow with it.

How are you reaching towards healing today? How are you showing yourself tenderness when your trembling hands can’t quite reach? Where do you feel current events in your body?

Just some gentle questions for us to ponder. Embodiment is healing. Healing is fucking hard work. Both/and forever and always.

xo Jess

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Jess Jackson, Soft Path Healing

Soft Path Healing is trauma-informed bodywork and nervous system nourishment in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Curious about working together? Feel free to be in touch.