Rethinking Polyvagal Theory, Part 1: Nuance, Neurodivergence, and Questioning the Western Model

If you've been following the recent discourse around Polyvagal Theory — the debates, the "debunking," the questions about scientific rigor — you might be feeling a little swirly. Maybe you're a practitioner who uses Polyvagal Theory in your work, or maybe you're a client who has benefited from it. Or maybe you want to join an SSP Group, but in light of the recent discourse, you're now spiraling and stumped and unsure.

This is Part 1 of an ongoing conversation I'm having about this publicly, because I think it deserves more than one post. I want to share a bit of how I hold Polyvagal Theory in my work, and some of my evolving thoughts about it. Part 2 is yet to come.

My Relationship with Polyvagal Theory

If you have worked with me in any capacity, we have probably talked about Polyvagal Theory. We've talked about freeze, maybe mapped your nervous system, and looked at diagrams of the Polyvagal Ladder. I've offered ways to soothe your vagus nerve.

But people who work with me — especially those doing the SSP — know that I don't offer these things as the final word on nervous system healing. I hold my teachers and these models with deep respect and critique that sometimes comes with a raised eyebrow. This includes Polyvagal Theory and Stephen Porges. Sorry, Steve.

I don't think any model I practice is complete on its own. And I think every model and modality changes shape based on how it's being offered — and whose hands are offering it.

Bending the Model to Fit Real People

In practice, this means I offer Polyvagal Theory as a model and then invite folks to bend it and change the language into what actually works for them.

One example: Polyvagal Theory describes the Ventral Vagal state — the state we're in when we don't feel under threat — as "safe and social." But I work with a lot of neurodivergent folks, and they often don't feel safe when they feel social. Or maybe they feel safe and connected, but that connection is with animals, a special interest, or nature rather than people.

You're probably getting the picture. I bring a lot of nuance to the Polyvagal model. I try to bring a lot of nuance to everything.

Questioning the Western Model of Healing

I'm also highly skeptical of the western model of certifications and scientific rigor — especially when so many of these healing practices have Indigenous roots. I'm not anti-science. But I do think that's only one part of the picture, and it's worth naming.

Who gets to decide what is valid? Who gets to decide what is true? Where are we looking for confirmation that a theory is true?

These are a few of the questions that I hold as I attempt to offer decolonized healing. Which, yes, is messy because what I practice has been colonized. It's a growing edge and work in progress for me.

Does the SSP Still Work?

This is the question I imagine many of you are sitting with. I have worked with over 100 people doing the SSP. Almost every single person has had a transformational experience. Sure, a couple of people have dropped out — I can count them on one hand with fingers to spare — and not everyone has a loud or dramatic experience. But I wouldn't still be doing this work if it didn't positively impact the people I work with.

Part of that is absolutely the SSP playlist itself, which Steven Porges designed to send auditory cues of safety to your nervous system. And part of it has to do with how I offer the SSP.

What to Look for in a Practitioner

You don't have to work with me, but here's what I'd recommend regardless of who you choose:

Find someone whose worldview goes beyond the model. Polyvagal Theory, like other models, can flatten the bigger picture and leave out the social, structural, and relational realities that make nervous system healing genuinely hard. An adept practitioner holds the model and the complexity of your actual life.

Find someone who is intentional about pacing. With the SSP specifically, offering too much safety too fast can feel confronting or even re-traumatizing to the nervous system — the opposite of what we're going for.

Find someone with a relational approach. Trauma happens within relationship, and healing does too. No matter the model.

Still on the Fence?

If you've been on the fence about joining an SSP Group — especially in light of what's coming out about Polyvagal Theory — I'd love to chat with you about it. And maybe you'll decide that you want to join an SSP Group anyways. We hold these kinds of conversations in the group too, so you won't be alone in the nuance or the skepticism.

My last two Spring SSP Groups are now enrolling, and then we're taking a break over the summer. If you don't want to wait until Fall to start your nervous system healing journey, here's what's available:

🎶 Wednesday evenings | Starting March 4th | 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 4 spaces open

🎶 Monday evenings | Starting April 6th | 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 5 spaces open

Before you join, I offer a free connection call — it's my practice to do this so your nervous system can hang out with mine for a little bit, I can answer your questions, and we can both feel into whether it's a good fit.

Apply here and we'll set up your free connection call. 🦋

This is Part 1 of an ongoing series. In Part 2, I'll go deeper into what a genuinely neurodivergent-affirming Polyvagal framework can actually look like.

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Jess Jackson is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner, and Safe and Sound Protocol Provider at Soft Path Healing — trauma-informed care for the world we really live in.

Should I Do the SSP in a Group or Individually?

This question comes up a lot: "Should I do the SSP in a group or individually?"

If you've been wondering the same thing, this is for you.

I've been leading SSP Groups and individual experiences for a few years now, and I've had a lot of conversations with folks trying to figure out which path is right for them. What I've learned is that your answer will always be unique to you and your nervous system — but there are some patterns I keep seeing. So I wanted to share some signs that an SSP group will probably be a beautiful fit, and when it might not be.

Hopefully these words, gleaned from years of leading groups, help you hear your own answer. 💞

Not sure what the SSP even is yet? Start here → Common Misconceptions about the Safe & Sound Protocol or visit whatisthessp.com

5 reasons an SSP Group might be the right fit for you:

💞 Connection & Co-Regulation

In a group, you can experience co-regulation and collective support — and the feeling that you're not alone. Your nervous system gets to practice being in relationship with relative safety alongside others on the same SSP journey.

There's something that happens in a group container that just can't be replicated in 1:1 work. When your nervous system is in the room (even a virtual room!) with other nervous systems that are also orienting toward safety, something shifts. You're not doing this alone, and your body knows it.

💰 More Affordable than 1:1 SSP

The group model makes this healing work more accessible. You get the full SSP experience for way less than a 1:1 container — think of it like community acupuncture. Same healing, different (and honestly kind of magical) container.

And groups aren't overwhelming — it's a cozy gathering of 4-6 folks. Not a big room full of strangers. A small handful of people finding their way toward safety together.

📅 13-Week Steady Structure with Weekly Sessions

We move through the SSP together over 13 weeks, which offers a clear container (with flexibility, of course!). Group members often report feeling anchored by our weekly time together — like having something steady to come back to, no matter what the week held.

If you're someone who does better with rhythm and predictability, that weekly anchor can be genuinely regulating in itself.

💬 Group Processing & Support

There's time to share about your experience and be deeply heard — if you want to. (It's also more than okay to be quiet! No forced sharing, ever.) You get to connect with folks who get what you're going through — the wins, the struggles, the "whoa that was so cool!" moments.

Being witnessed by people who are in it with you is its own kind of medicine.

🦋 You're Nervous AND Excited About Group Healing

If you're feeling a mix of nervous and excited about joining a group, that's often a good sign that you'll have a wonderful time. That particular combination — a little scared, a little brave — tends to show up when something is genuinely right for us, even if it's a stretch.

Not sure if your nervous/excited ratio is pointing toward yes? I can help you hear a clear answer on a connection call. 💞

"I'll admit it: When I'd first heard of Safe and Sound Protocol, I was… skeptical. After ten weeks of listening and several months to integrate everything, I am in disbelief over how SSP has not only helped me, but has challenged what I thought I knew about my own neurodivergence and mental health." — Sam, SSP Group Participant

1 reason a group might NOT be right for you (right now):

Sometimes, being in a group is too much for a sensitive nervous system that needs more 1:1 support. If you sense that a shared space might be more activating than supportive for you right now — that a group would ask more of your nervous system than it can comfortably offer — that's really important information, and it deserves to be honored.

This doesn't mean groups are off the table forever. It might just mean that right now, a 1:1 experience is the gentler, more supported container for where you are. And that's a completely valid answer.

You can learn more about what an individual SSP experience looks like at softpathhealing.com/ssp-individual.

Still not sure?

That's what connection calls are for. After you apply, we get on a short Zoom together and just... talk. You can ask me anything, I can share more about the SSP and how I hold groups, and we can figure out together whether a group or 1:1 is the right fit for you.

No pressure. Just a conversation.

Want to go even deeper on the group vs. individual question? I wrote a longer, more detailed version of this here → SSP Group vs. Individual: A Deeper Look.

Ready to join an SSP Group? 💫

If you're craving community and steadiness around your healing journey, I'd love to have you. And if groups feel like too much right now? That's important information too — and I'm still here to help you find the right fit.

Two groups are open right now — the only ones until Fall:

🎶 Wednesday Evening Group | Starting March 4th, 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 4 spaces open

🎶 Monday Evening Group | Starting April 6th, 6:30–8:45 PM EST | 6 spaces open

👉 Apply for an SSP Group

👉 Learn about 1:1 SSP

👉 Learn more about the SSP

Still not sure? Reach out and let me know what questions you have. I'm here to help you figure out what feels right for your nervous system. 🦋

Jess Jackson (she/they) is a trauma-informed practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP), and SSP provider at Soft Path Healing, based in Midcoast Maine and working virtually with clients across the globe.

The SSP, Safety-Seeking and Sensing Danger

There are so many ways our nervous system scans for safety and danger. Sound is one of them.

The SSP (Safe & Sound Protocol) uses sound to send the nervous system signals of safety, and as we receive this, big healing can happen.

When our nervous system and vagus nerve are bathed in the sounds of safety and connection, a lot can change. Our relationships, our nervous system, our way of being in the world.

And when we have an extended period of time through the SSP to experience and orient to these sounds of safety, and we are able to take slow sips of safety and connection, our survival patterns can shift. By working slowly and honoring nervous system capacity, these shifts take place without the overwhelm sometimes present in healing.

There is no shame in a nervous system that is more oriented to (and familiar with) danger or disconnection. Survival is the nervous system's goal, and it'll do whatever it takes to get there. Including staying glued to the look-out in case more danger awaits. This can often show up as hypervigilance and repeated scanning for safety or threat in the environment.

When we are offered sounds of safety in small amounts, we get practice being in relationship to safety. To okay-ness. To nothing-is-wrong-right-now-ness. And at first, it might feel strange. Boring. Unfamiliar. To scan and find that nothing-is-actually-wrong-right-now.

But over time, we might settle into it as a sense of safety settles into our nervous system.

And this is part of the magic of the SSP.

Head over to softpathhealing.com/ssp to learn more and fill out an application to work together. I’d love to help you and your nervous system experience more ease.